Revelation
by whiskets
Summary: With Thirteen still dealing with the aftermath of a patient's death, she breaks down in a lounge. Cameron finds her and offers a word of advice. Cameron/Thirteen friendship. Post 4x03 "97 Seconds"-Spoilers. Kind of a pre-fic to my other story "Healing Begins" but can be read alone. One-shot


Title: **Revelation**

Summary: With 13 still dealing with the aftermath of a patient's death, she breaks down in a lounge. Cameron finds her and offers a word of advice. Cameron/13 friendship. Post 4x03 "97 Seconds" Kind of a pre-fic to "Healing Begins" but can be read alone. One-shot

Pairings: None

Spoilers: Up to 4x03

Disclaimers: Not mine, of course, just the idea.

* * *

She didn't come looking for this _on purpose_, she argued with herself, her hand on the door to the doctor's lounge. Dr. Allison Cameron paused and looked around. The hallway was not crowded but still, the people, some doctors, some nurses, some patients, did not stop, didn't even pause at the sobs that escaped the room. She saw them glance at her; clearly, she was employed in the medical field in her pink scrubs and stethoscope.

Cameron sighed. A part of her, the part she believed had been changed by the time she spent with House, told her to walk away, that this wasn't her concern. The other part of her, the idealistic woman who fought for her patients, who believed that she could still make a difference, pushed the door open.

The lounge room was mostly dark. Only a single lamp was on, in the far corner of the room. Cameron's eyes fell on a woman's tall, lean figure, seated and hunched over, with her back to the door. A cascade of dark hair fell around her shoulders. A hand covered her face. At Cameron's entrance, the sobs became suppressed. Cameron could see the back of a white lab coat. The shoulders encased in it continued to shake, though the sounds emanating from the young woman were muffled.

If she were anyone else, Cameron could simply ignore the young woman, convince herself that she hadn't heard crying, the sound of another human being in pain. But…she was still Allison Cameron, despite her experiences with House.

As Cameron came around the piece of lounge furniture the young doctor sat in, she realized that the other woman was one of House's fellows, a suspicion confirmed by the red and white sign with the number "13" that hung from around her neck.

The fellow was wearing dark jeans and a flowing white linen shirt partially hidden by the number sign and the lab coat signifying her as a doctor. Her arms were crossed over her chest, one hand hiding her face. The other was curled into a fist.

Cameron sat down quietly, seating herself in the chair opposite the fellow. The woman stiffened but made no other sign that she knew another person was in the room. With a deep, shuddering gasp, the fellow got herself under control. She sat up straighter and opened her eyes.

Cameron felt a jolt as her light chocolate brown eyes met the other woman's vibrant greens.

"Dr. Hadley? What's wrong? What did House do this time?"

Thirteen felt a start of surprise. How did this woman know her name?

Cameron smiled slightly, noticing her surprise and guessing its cause. "I always remember names…not numbers. I've tried to get him to do the same, a futile concept." This garnered a watery smile from the fellow.

"So…" Cameron started again, her brows furrowing in concern. "What happened?"

Thirteen was quiet for a long, long moment. The silence stretched between the two women, only interrupted by the coffee maker as it turned itself on and began the drip process. Cameron leaned forward, intent on hearing whatever Dr. Hadley would tell her, hands folded in her lap. Thirteen regarded the other doctor with a certain level of wariness. Dr. Cameron had once been one of House's fellows, and if rumor was to be believed, they still remained close, who was to say that she wouldn't still report to him?

Cameron, for her part, understood that Dr. Hadley might not speak to her at all; House's mannerisms and constant games created distrust, plus they didn't really know each other. In fact, this was the first time she'd ever spoken to Dr. Hadley personally. Dr. Hadley could be suspicious that House had put Cameron up to this. Cameron_ had_ worked for many years for House. Dr. Hadley might think she was some type of spy who would report her conversation back to House.

The silence between them had grown uncomfortable. Cameron leaned back against the chair's cushions and shook her head. "It's okay if you don't want to talk to me…" she said, pushing herself to her feet. Thirteen kept her eyes on the other woman's face, studying her.

"I know what its like…" Cameron's voice trailed off as she stood in front of her chair. She cleared her throat, smiling self-consciously. "What I meant was, I know what its like to be around him and work for him. I just thought you might need to vent." Cameron began to walk away but paused for a moment. Before she could think better of it, she squeezed the other woman's shoulder gently and continued towards the door. Thirteen still made no comment until Cameron's hand was on the door.

"Wait…" Thirteen asked, her voice heavy with emotion. "Please…wait…"

Cameron felt her heart give a squeeze at the desperation in the young woman's voice. The words were all it took to have Cameron moving back to the young doctor's side. This time, Cameron sat on the couch beside Dr. Hadley.

"I do need someone to talk with…" Thirteen started. She tucked a strand of dark hair behind one ear and shot a sideways glance at Cameron before returning her gaze to her clasped hands. Was she really going to confide in this woman, someone she hardly knew, who was the head of her department? It would portray weakness, vulnerability, that she was _soft,_ not cut out for working with House.

Cameron saw Dr. Hadley hesitating again. In an effort to build trust, Cameron spoke. "In my time of working with House, I made a lot of mistakes. I'd like to say that I learned from each one." She shrugged. "I think that's true. Probably the one mistake he would say I never learned from was the mistake of caring." At this, Thirteen turned her head and Cameron was able to look the young doctor directly in the eye.

"House once told me that I live under the delusion that I can fix everything that's not perfect," she said, shaking her head, her blonde locks filtering around her. "He was wrong. It's in our imperfections, in our mistakes, that help us learn to become better doctors."

Still maintaining eye contact, Thirteen whispered. "I killed a man."

Cameron couldn't stop the surprise from marring her face but shook her head before schooling her features into disbelief. "Did you push him under a bus or pull a trigger? Did you throw him off a ledge?" she deadpanned.

Thirteen stared at her. Cameron shook her head.

"No, of course you didn't. Something…happened and he died. People die all the time. I think…" Now, Cameron hesitated. "…I think that we lose sight of the fact that people _do _die, because of how good the team is at diagnosing and saving lives. It gives us a false sense of our patient's immortality. Even as good as House is, and he _is_ the best, life…and death…still happen. Some decisions will still be made and there is nothing you or anyone else can do about that."

"If he had just taken the pills…or if I had the sense to watch him, to _make sure_ he had taken his medication…none of this…_none _of this would've happened," Thirteen finished, voice low but vehement in her self-doubt.

Cameron was quiet, watching her speak. "Let me ask you a question. Who's fault is it really that this patient died?"

Thirteen shook her head. "Mine."

Both eyebrows rose as Cameron looked shocked. "Really? There wasn't anyone else in the room? It was your decision and yours alone? C'mon, I know that he split you into teams."

Thirteen pursed her lips. "Okay, well, the others agreed with me. And I'm the one who administered the medication," she said, looking at her with tortured eyes.

Cameron nodded. "Exactly. The _others _agreed with you. Not that I'm trying to pass the buck or anything, but there is a reason that you work with a team. The goal is to bounce ideas, theories off each other, to try to look at the diagnosis and treatment from all angles."

"Did the patient say he had taken the medication?"

Thirteen was silent. Had Mr. Stark said that he took the medication? Or had she just assumed? Had she knocked over the pill cup? How had the dog gotten the medicine?

"That's part of the problem. I just can't _remember_…" A tear slipped past Thirteen's composure and trailed down her cheek.

Without thinking, Cameron wiped it away. "Even if you could remember, what would change? Nothing. Unfortunately, the patient is still dead. The best you can do is what I said earlier: learn from your mistakes."

At that statement, Thirteen laughed humorlessly. "I demanded to House that he fire me because I deserved it. He told me that he was now certain that I would never make the same mistake twice. And, now, here you are, offering me the same advice."

Cameron smiled lopsidedly, nothing humorous in her expression. "Working for House will change you." She shrugged. "It obviously already has…you have to decide just how much you're willing to let yourself change. The one thing I would caution you against while you're working for him is to guard your heart from becoming cold. Caring about your patients is still important. It will help limit your mistakes."

"It's alright to be insular, and protect yourself both from your colleagues and from him, just remember that patients have names, not numbers." At this, Cameron fell silent, looking at the number sign hanging around the fellow's neck. She tapped the sign, once.

"What kind of name is 'Thirteen' anyway?" Cameron said, nose wrinkling.

The other doctor smiled. "Call me Remy."

"Allie or Cameron is fine. Only Chase calls me 'Allison.' Now…how do you feel?"

"Better," Thirteen admitted.

"Good," Cameron said, standing up. She walked to the door. "I'll be around… Remy," she said as she exited into the hallway. Thirteen smiled at her retreating form.

* * *

It would take a while to come to terms with Mr. Stark's death, Remy decided. But, in two ways, Dr. Cameron…_Allie, _she reminded herself, was right. First, there had been other people in the room, people who could've helped. Second, as House had also said, she had to make certain not to repeat her mistakes.

Perhaps, she reflected, Allie was right on a third point. Remy knew she was isolated, and worked hard to maintain the space between her colleagues and herself. Maybe, just maybe, she had just found someone who she could learn to trust, who really would be around.

* * *

A/N: After watching episode 4x03, this little idea got stuck in my head. You don't really see Thirteen deal with Mr. Stark's death as I don't think the discussion between her and House is sufficient. She just comes back to work the next day, receives a few head pats from her fellows, and goes about her life. It just doesn't work that way. I decided there must be a missing piece, so I wrote this little scene between Cameron and 13. It could be a pre-fic to my other House piece "Healing Begins."

I plan on continuing to explore the imaginary friendship between Cameron and 13. P.S. Only now onto season 4-thank you, House Marathon

**Please read & review.**

* * *

Music: Third Day "Revelation"

"My life has led me down the road that's so uncertain  
Now I am left alone and I am broken  
Trying to find my way  
Trying to find the faith that's gone

This time I know that you are holding all the answers  
I'm tired of losing hope and taking chances  
On road that never seem  
To be the ones that bring me home

Give me revelation  
Show me what to do  
'Cause I've been trying to find my way  
I haven't got a clue  
Tell me should I stay here  
Or do I need to move  
Give me a revelation  
I've got nothing without you

I've got nothing without you…"


End file.
